Wednesday, January 5
i always thought there would be other people like me. but i haven't found anyone with whom i can connect yet. it's already been three days. heavens above, i found you 4 years ago on the first day of school! i've lost some of my innocence and naiveity. now i joke without meaning, without caring much. i just say what comes to mind. you laugh. they don't, not really, they don't
get it, the way you do. gosh i miss you so much. being with you just now.. just hanging around.. i can't tell you how much it means to me. to just see you and hear your voice and be with you. gosh i sound les. who cares. i wanna find someone who understands my brand of sarcasm and humour without trying to steal it away. i'm me you know. sarcasm is all i have. you know what i say, i'm nothing but sarcasm and a little glitter. don't take it away from me. they have it all. can't i keep my personality? sigh. another day. who knows what it will bring. i'm homesick for school, my second home.
i'm a fish out of water, a bird with oil on its wings.. and a rhyme without reason.
you were the reason to my rhyme. come back to me. let's turn back time, we'll make everything all right again. i didn't know what i had til i realised i could lose it, and i don't know what i'm missing til i find it. i didn't want to spend eternity looking back at earth's heaven. but facing dusty brown plains ahead.. i can't help turning back to gaze. and at night when i'm trying to sleep... my heart feels so heavy, every breath i draw is like trying to lift an enormous weight. and it's then that i realise all the more how much you meant to me, how much i miss you, and how vastly empty my future hangs, without you.
catch me, i'm falling, i tried to fly but i have no wings.
i miss you. think of me.. think of me softly when we've said goodbye.. remember me once in a while, please promise me you'll try. i never stop thinking about you. sitting in hc facing our school, i just want to get up and walk. walk back. all the way back. and today i did. it felt so good. like i was coming home. no one's happy anywhere. it's not hc's fault. we've spoilt each other with perfect company, and now nothing, even second best is going to do.
it must've been love.
11:27 pm
xoxo
